Good morning lovely friends..
It's such a beautiful SNOWY day here in the bean! Brrrrrrrrr.
Hope yours is off to an amazing start with less hiccups and sunshine..
Are You Living A Purpose Driven Life !?
What's It Even All About?!?
For the past year, I've been struggling with a few elements that have lead
me to better understand the basis of "who" I am. As a mother, as a friend, as a partner,
a co-worker, and just as ME, the ME I live with daily. It's been a huge blessing in
disguise as I first thought, OH NO, is this what "mid-life crisis is all about..? I really
felt depressed about a lot of things~ ie "Financial struggles, finding a perfect
niche per say to compliment who I thought I wanted to be, trying to fit in,
and simply doing everything I can to polish my outside looking in to those
who mattered the LEAST!. The biggest fear of all for me, was not
being "there" (that place I felt I needed to be at my age for
years" - WHERE is that place for YOU!?!
HITTING ROAD BLOCKS
I finally hit a road block that really hindered a lot of my self confidence. I felt
very LOST. I felt as if I needed to now find other ways to try to define myself and
reinvent the ME I loved so much way before. I needed guidance, I sought patience
with myself, understanding and taking a moment to cater to myself in a way I
hardly ever did before. I took a moment to write the LONGEST list ever.
................ ..... .....................
This list consisted of rows of highs and lows. The things that mattered most to me.
It had trivial things like "my reading time, which I saw less and less of over the years
- I LOVE to read". My craft time, not so much to craft to share, but to craft happily
and enjoy it JUST BECAUSE!. One on one time with God, nature hikes,
meditation, reaching little personal health goals, re-energizing my faith and
rejuvenating my inner self. All of which, I hardly made time for any more.
................ ..... .....................
My next list consisted of "Time Cheats". Where in my life today can I fit in and
meaningfully MAKE the time I need to cheat on the daily for myself..? How can I be
selfish within my life at least a few hours a week to make for self ends meet..? That's
where the fun begun! I realized, I put so much time and emphasis in places that didn't
necessarily need it, and could possibly mandate some extra time for me
and make things work. It's JUST what I did..
TIME CHEAT TO MAKE
UP FOR "SELF ENDS MEET"
The first BEST time cheat I figured out for some ME time was negotiating and
incorporating my family into reaching an individual self goal within our home. YES!
It really was hard for about a week, but thereafter, we all kinda LOVED the idea.
TAKING A MOMENT TO BREATH! After school, it's almost like a zoo within
our home. The day's load of complaint's, the needing help with this, and that, dinner,
talk time, bath, getting ready for the next day of daily events-----just CHAOS!.
We agreed upon a rule to pick our least busiest days of the week, no after school
programs, or extra curricular happenings, and spend an HOUR each to completely
indulge in the one thing we REALLY love and focus on for our personal time. This
hour really came in handy. Sia spends it usually catching a show, coloring or joining
in on something I don't mind her joining in on (painting our nails, finishing a
project of mine, laying down and catching a quick rerun of something)
BUT it focuses on MY TIME and what I want to do with it..
Driving. . . . To catch up on reading, we decided to take turns with driving.
My fiance drives to and I drive from, and we have quiet time to either read,
talk, or one gets to watch something on the ipad or the likes. Its a long
drive for us each morning and we usually use it to now catch up on TV
shows we don't get to watch over the week sparingly..
Extra-Curricular Days ..... I now bring a book or two to catch up on reading
during sports activities. While I wait, I catch a glimpse here and there and continue
to enjoy my reads, as the kids sport it out and have their time..
Get Your Girls Involved.... We almost now ALL have children. We had to cut
to the chase as friends and be honest about "our time". Unless we can all find sitters,
we've made a rule to simply either have kid-related play dates where we can all
get together, feed the kids LOTS of food and get to watch some movies
together and enjoy each other's company alongside..
Devotion To Your Partner... Although your perfect day's are WITH your spouse
and being able to reconnect and enjoy each other, it doesn't hurt to MAKE him a date
with his guy friends and send them all off for some MAN time together. This helps a
lot to be able to flip things up and go on girl "adult" dates with your own friends without
anyone feeling left out. As hard as it might be to find a sitter, try to make it a goal to
find one as best as you can to at least once a month to have some spousal alone time
together.. If it doesn't work, stay up late, skip the normal dinner time and have
a candle lit dinner after hours when the kids are fast asleep.
BREATH..... The WILL be day's when none of this will work. The key
for me is to figure out HOW I can MAKE it work without loosing my marbles. When
I can't go to the gym by myself, I take the kids out with me. A healthy family is the
BEST well rounded family. We go for runs with the stroller and enjoy some fresh
air together. Read with them, make them take turns reading to YOU. Compromise
on some moments alone (time in the bathroom, shutting your door for a moment
to catch a moment to take in your day.). The magic is in respect. I've learned
that, when I respect, take time to be patient with my children in
understanding THEIR TIME, they are rather very positive
in compromising for MY TIME to myself.
............. .. ..............
In closing, there's NO such thing as being a mom with a clear vision of "your
ideal purpose driven life". It's about well rounding your responsibilities,
creating goals, and mastering ways to get around the busy daily struggle
of finding time to make ends meet for YOURSELF...
How do YOU manage to find time for yourself?
What goal's and personal insider's do you have to "getting there"?! I'd LOVE
to hear opinions from you all on how you strive to live your idea of
a well rounded purpose driven and fulfilling life for YOU..
I've seen a dramatic improvement in ME as a whole lately. I am
climbing out of the "funk", enjoying myself and learning more fun self discoveries
about myself. It's a daily movement, and with all the road blocks that WILL and
DO hit from time to time, I always resort back to my list, and make the BEST
of my days, to simply be able to smile and feel fulfilled when I get to bed.
TAKE SOME YOU TIME FROM LIFE TODAY!!
Wishing you all a beautiful day...